I bought it on eBay
It would be hard to estimate how much money I’ve wasted on eBay.
Most of my mistakes have been minor, thank goodness. Others—a Coach purse, some Timberland boots, and a handful of cameras—I’ve been able to resell.
But a couple of my eBay purchases have been so hideous that the only appropriate response was to throw them away.
I’ll spare you sordid story about the ill-fitting Speedo triathlon suit (except to say that donning it involved copious amounts of BodyGlide, and removing it required the help of at least two able-bodied adults).
Then there’s the tale of the espadrilles.
They weren’t exactly my style, but they looked cute enough in the photo. Plus, they were only $8.99, and I did need some brown shoes for work, and it wouldn’t kill me to look a bit more feminine, and …
Anyway, I was thrilled when my new shoes arrived. They fit perfectly and—joy of all joys—they made my feet look tiny. I pranced around the living room for a minute or two, delighting in my newfound girliness.
But when I wore them to work the next day I discovered a horrible, horrible flaw: If I walked more than a few steps or strode with any sense of purpose, well … see for yourself.
My colleagues and I had a few good laughs over my fashion “faux paw.” Then I went home to change into something a bit more, um, sensible.
In hindsight I wish I’d hung onto the shoes, if only for the occasional laugh. But at least I still have the photo—and the comfort of knowing that it’s just a matter of time before some pink velour monstrosity shows up on my doorstep.
Filed under: Attempted humor, Friends and family, Psychology, Weird news | 9 Comments
Tags: attempted humor, eBay, humor, I bought it on eBay, postaday2011, Speedo, unintentional humor, Weird Al Yankovic